This morning I was thinking about this month’s spiritual practice. I had this epiphany that my wife has taught me so much about the spiritual practice of you. One of the first things she said to me when we were dating is that she was allergic to makeover queens. She defined them as those people who placed conditions on love. They are those people who say I would love you if _________ (you can fill in the blank).
I am not sure about anyone else, but I have known more than my share of people who have always let me know I was not enough of something or too much of something. I never quite fit their approval just as I was. The reality, I came to understand, is that it didn’t matter what I did, I would never be cast in their storyline because I would never have their unconditional love and acceptance.
I have also come to realize that often times the one who did not offer me unconditional love and acceptance was me. While I would like to say I have evolved to the place where I do not need that reassurance from those I love now and then, there are days I still need that. However, there is a difference between needing it every once in a while, and needing it consistently.
What I have come to realize is that when I am practicing you, I am simply loving myself for who I am right now. I am not focusing on who I think I could or should be, but who I am right in this moment. The unconditional love of myself is that simple. It is about accepting, understanding and being me at this very moment. When someone takes the time for understanding you for who you are, what makes you who you are, and loves you for who you are, you have made a friend for life. They are the people who value you for who you are.
Who is in your lives, those who help and support you in practicing you or those who keep you on the stage trying to help you get cast in their fantasy role? Perhaps it is time for you to stop auditioning for others and cast yourself in the role of you.