Week 3, Day 6 – Surrender

I have found myself surrendering a lot this past year. I surrendered my pastorate slightly over a year ago. I knew I should have surrendered it a while before, but I was not initially willing to surrender it. I had to release some fears before I was ready to surrender it to the Creator and trust that all was going to be ok. Reflecting on this, I began thinking about my birth parents and how they had to surrender me to the adoption agency and my foster parents who had to surrender me to my birth parents. Surrendering is not always easy. I still have a great deal of love for the people who were and still are a part of that church, yet I knew it was time for me to surrender it to the Creator. I am choosing to believe that my birth parents loved me, yet they surrendered me to the Creator knowing I was going to be ok. During the last week of this journey, I have come to realize there are two things I need to surrender.
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Week 3, Day 1 – Releasing others control over us

I had never thought about myself as being a controlling person, until last night. I had always been more mindful of how I had been controlled and whose should I had agreed to follow. However, it while listening to an associate who was sharing with me how her life is just one struggle after another. I could appreciate where she was at because there was not a positive anywhere in her conversation. Everything was negative. Nobody liked her, nothing was going right. It was one negative after another and she could not understand why her life was so miserable or why she could not get a break in life. At one point as she was speaking, there was this voice in the back of my head that was singing some song from my childhood that goes something like nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go eat worms. What I should have done was just listen, but
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