Me and Masks

I have been thinking about something, which was said to me during a tarot reading a few weeks ago. The reader told me I have this external image of being peaceful, calm, and happy, however, there are things from my past, which weigh me down. In essence, there were masks I wore and parts of myself I did not openly share with others. Perhaps those were not the exact words shared with me; it is however how I remember it. Those words have come and gone from my memory. However, this morning as I was reading from Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements Companion Book. He wrote, “We know we are not what we believe we are supposed to be and so we feel false, frustrated, and dishonest. We try to hide ourselves, and we pretend to be what we are not. The result is that we feel unauthentic and wear social masks to keep others from noticing this.” he challenged the readers to think about what masks we wear around others? Why do we wear them? What would happen if we took them off? What would it be like to express who we really are?
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I am who I am

I have been thinking about this art interpretation thing since our love and inspiration gathering last Sunday when I shared my copy of La Confidance with the group. At some level, I think I wanted them to be as taken away and moved by this painting as I was. Their not being moved did not affect my experience of this painting or the memory of the first time I saw it. Rather, it reminded me of a chapter in don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Mastery of Love where he talks about this man who did not believe in love, who then thought he found it, and then became disillusioned when the woman of his dreams did not share the same exuberance about something he did.
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Valuing my qualities

Don Miguel Ruiz wrote, “The most important agreements are the ones you make with yourself. In these agreements you tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe, and how to behave.” As I have been exploring this in my own life and working to become aware of my own agreements, I have been thinking about the qualities I was taught I should embody, those I think I embody, what others think I have and those I wish I had. Growing up, I was taught to be compassionate and caring. That came more from my mother then anyone else. She was a very loving and compassionate woman and they are qualities I continue to embody and embrace today. I think, or at least would like to believe that this is how others see me as well.
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It's my story!

I just had this awesome conversation with my brother and it reminded me of how we each have the opportunity to co-create with the Infinite and with life. How I talk about my life, how I tell the story of my life is about me and it is a work of art. Nobody can tell the story of my life as I can. Your story about my life is your story and your work of art. I can observe it, but I do not participate in it. It is your story. How I tell my story, how I create my story is about me. I am the one who decides how to paint the picture. I am the one who decides how to explain what I perceive to be real. I am the one who decides how I am going to justify what I do or do not. It is my life and my story.
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Week 6, Day 1 – Uniqueness

It’s amazing what a nap and a grilled cheese sandwich will do. having been gone since what for me is the crack of dawn this morning (7:30 am), I came home, completed some errands and was bound and determined I was going to journal today if it was the last thing I did. But the last thing I wanted to do was write in my journal. All I wanted to do was take a nap. But it’s 8:30 pm you can take a nap now. Sure, I can. No, you can’t. Yes, I can. And the healthier side of me took control and I curled up in bed for what was either going to be a long nights sleep or a good nap. The nap won out as I woke up hungry. So after fixing myself a grilled cheese sandwich and a diet mountain dew, I could begin to think about what my being unique. Chewing my sandwich and sipping my soda gave me an opportunity to think about where I wanted to start with my thoughts on uniqueness.
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