There is this Amy Grant song called That’s What Love Is For. The chorus of the song goes like this
Believing in the one thing
That has gotten us this far
That's what love is for
To help us through it
That's what love is for
Nothing else can do it.
Round off the edges
Talk us down from the ledges
Give us strength to try once more
Baby, that's what love is for
That truly is what love is for. Over the course of my life time I have seen love bring about transformative change in people. My son Nick for years depended on the love my former partner and I had for him to make it through. We always told him that he had to love himself and want to change for himself. the day he decided to have a relationship with his Higher Power is the day his life began to change. He discovered a love for himself and others that began to heal all the wounds he had experienced growing up with his birth family. over the last twenty years, I have seen him go from where he was in restraints 10-15 times a day to where he is living in a supported living environment and restraint free. that is what love can do. that is what has gotten him this far. Nothing but the unconditional love of God and his love for himself could have helped him through. he was surrounded by loving staff and family who helped him round off the edges and talked him down from the ledges.
My son is not the only one I have seen embody the transformative power of love. I have seen people who were intent on killing themselves with drugs and alcohol transform their lives because love gave them the courage to try once more. I have seen people, myself included, begin to lose weight because they learned how to love themselves. Love has this amazing ability to bring about transformative change in people’s lives. we just need to be open to receiving and accepting that love.
The simple words “I love you” can have a profound affect on people. I have seen people cry at the simple words God loves you and so do I. in a world where, regardless of faith tradition or spiritual practices, we are supposed to love one another, it is the one thing people are most hungry for. There is clearly a world hunger problem in this world. however, the thing people are most starving for is love. love. it cost nothing to grow love, to cultivate love, to produce love, to share love. love can be shared in the most desert and arid of countries as freely and abundantly as in the lushest of gardens.
True love has two basic qualities. It is patient and it is kind. Love is patient means you cant slap somebody upside the head, even though they might have gotten on your last nerve. You can’t talk smack about them just because they are talking smack about you. You can’t talk behind their backs, just because they are doing that to you. You can’t take the low road, just because somebody else took the low road. Love is patient.
One person who for embodied this patient love is Abraham Lincoln. See, one of Abraham Lincoln’s most outspoken political enemies was a man named Edwin J. Stanton. Stanton despised Lincoln so much for his beliefs that he called Lincoln a “low cunning clown” and the “original gorilla.” He even said this about Lincoln: “It is ridiculous for people to go to Africa to see a gorilla, when they could find one easily in Springfield, Illinois. To Lincoln’s credit, he never responded to these insults. Yet, when he was elected President, Lincoln chose Stanton to be his Secretary of War. When asked why, Lincoln said, “because he is the best man!” Later, when Lincoln had been assassinated, Stanton stood by the coffin which contained Lincoln’s body and said through his tears, “There lies the greatest ruler of men the world has ever seen.” Patient love in action won this man over in the end! Patient love in action can bring about transformative change in us, in our communities and in our world.
Love is kind. Kind is an action, not just a feeling. It means we can’t just be kind at those times we are supposed to or want to. It means we have to actively seek out, even create opportunities to be compassionate and empathetic with others. It means we are willing to help others, even if it means we have to give something up in our own life. It means we set aside our attitude that says it’s all about me, and work on actively demonstrating our love for all of humanity.
On the morning of October 2, 2006, a troubled milkman named Charles Carl Roberts barricaded himself inside the West Nickel Mine Amish School, in Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania. He was armed with 3 guns, knives, and over 600 rounds of ammunition. When police attempted to intervene less than half an hour later, Roberts opened fire on 11 girls – all less than 14 years old. 5 young girls died. Then he turned his weapon on himself and committed suicide. It was a dark day for the Amish community of West Nickel Mines, but it was also a dark day for Marie Roberts – the wife of the gunman --- and her 2 young children.
But on the following Saturday, Marie experienced something truly counter-cultural while attending her husband’s funeral. That day, she and her children watched as Amish families – about half of the 75 mourners present – came and stood alongside them in the midst of their own blinding grief.
Despite the crime which the man had perpetrated, the Amish came to mourn Charles Carl Roberts – a husband and a daddy. Bruce Porter, a fire department chaplain who attended the service, described what moved him most about the gesture: “It’s the love, the forgiveness, the heartfelt forgiveness they have toward the family. I broke down and cried seeing it displayed.” He added that Marie Roberts was also deeply touched. “She was absolutely, deeply moved by the love shown.”
That’s what love is for.
Believing in the one thing
That has gotten us this far
That's what love is for
To help us through it
That's what love is for
Nothing else can do it.
Round off the edges
Talk us down from the ledges
Give us strength to try once more
Baby, that's what love is for