Releasing Judgment

Ah, to be seven again. It was interesting trying to explain the four agreements to a 7 year old last night. Trying to explain being impeccable with your word was fun. We talked about being positive in what you think and say about yourself and others and she looked at me with this and your point is kind of face. So following the third agreement to seek clarification, I asked her if she ever thought anything negative about anybody or herself. Her response was why would I. I then talked with her about the second agreement of not taking things personally and she again looked at me somewhat strange. So I said, well for example, if I told you that you were ugly, would you believe me. With her hands on her hips and a very strong face, she said NO! I am beautiful. Of course, I would not believe your lie. The other two agreements, seek clarification and do your best made so much more sense to her.

After trying to explain these to her, I was struck by how she was so naturally living the agreements. She asked for what she needed, asked questions when she did not understand, and okay with the fact that she did better in dance class then in math, at the same time knowing she was doing her best in both.

So what happens to us as we age, do we lose the ability to live the agreements. Do we slowly eat so much poison and allow our mind to be inhabited my so many parasites that we forget some basic rules in life, like we are beautiful just as we are and if others cannot see that then they are lying to us. Why would we want to think anything negative about others or ourselves? How did we lose the ability to affirm others and ourselves? How did we as a society become so judgmental?

One thing I have tried to release this past month is the practice of judgment. Anytime I have found myself comparing myself to others or evaluating others, or myself I focus on what we have in common rather then how we are different. It is similar to the technique Rinzler talks about in his book The Buddha Walks into the Bar when he suggests that we remember that we have experienced the same situations as everyone else. By taking a space of compassion and remembering that she is broken hearted like me, I can remember a time when I too was hurting and empathize with their situation.

I have also been reminded this month to give thanks in all situations. For even in those unexpected moments, I am blessed to see how much I have evolved and grown in my own journey. So this year, I am grateful for my own growth and evolution. I am grateful I have learned how to take a moment, breathe, release, and ask for the space I need when I am feeling crowded. I am grateful for the healing, which has happened in my life, which has enabled me to stay present when certain people try to press my buttons and get on my last nerve. I am grateful for their presence in my life and the healing they have prompted me to work on in my life. My prayer is that this next year, I will continue to grow and evolve in my journey and that my peace might radiate and spill out onto others.