A few of my favorite things

Ok so I am all about practicing play this month. So I figured I would make myself laugh and share some cartoons I love and maybe a few jokes and or stories that make me laugh. Hope you can see the humor and laugh with me

Have you heard of the cow who attained liberation?
It was dyslexic and kept on repeating OOOOMMM !

 

Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three -- one to change it, one to not-change it and one to both change- and not-change it.

I learned everything from Noah's Ark!

1. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
2. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big.
3. Don't listen to critics -- do what has to be done.
4. Build on high ground.
5. For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
6. Two heads are better than one.
7. Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.
8. If you can't fight or flee -- float!
9. Don't forget that we're all in the same boat.
10. Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals.
11. Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.
12. Don't miss the boat.
13. No matter how bleak it looks, if God is with you, there's always a rainbow on the other side.

 

 

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous.

The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some capacity. The parents were at their wit's end as to what to do about their sons' behavior.

The parents had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so they contacted him, and he agreed to give it his best shot. He asked to see the boys individually, so the eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?"

Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"

At that, the boy bolted from the room, ran directly home, and slammed himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?"

The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!"

 

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