My Expectations

May 5, 2021 Sharon Jacobson

My Expectations

I hate expectations.
Even though I have worked to release them,
they find their way back into my life,
only for me to have to do the work
of letting them go.
My expectations
cause me the most suffering.
It’s not about others.
It’s about me.
It’s about people not living up to
my expectations of them.
It hurts when people violate
an agreement, but at least
there was some reciprocity.
With expectations,
there is no agreement with anyone
other than myself.
Usually the other does not know
they did not live up to my expectations
I suffer from what they did not do
and never knew they were
expected to do.
It’s like being disappointed
because someone did not come to an appointment
they did not know they had.
My expectations are about me.
My suffering is because
of what I have decided
and nobody else agreed to.
My journey has me being mindful
and releasing
my expectations

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Remembering

September 9, 2019 Sharon Jacobson

Oops, they did it again.
This person once again
did not live up to my expectations.
Once again I found myself frustrated
and not wanting to have anything
to do with them.
Then I remembered this is about me
and my expectations.
They never agreed to them,
I just expected them to do so.

Perhaps more importantly
I was allowing this one thing,
this one experience to make me
forget all the good they had done.
I had to work at remembering
the good things,
the times they were present,
the moments they were affirming, and
the moments they lived up to my expectations.

I am sure there are moments,
intentionally or not,
that I have not lived up to someone’s expectations.,
or that I have hurt their feelings,
and made someone forget
all the times I was loving,
nurturing,
and kind.
May we remember the goodness
in the wake of the pain.
May we remember for others
as we would like others to remember
about us.

Let It Go

July 17, 2018 Sharon Jacobson

Let it go.
That is what I hear
Words from a teacher
The reminder to release
To stop accelerating the negativity
To interrupt the flow of energy
To just let it go

Step on the brake
Let it go
Just sit in the joy
So I sit in it and
I keep releasing that
Which attempts to steal my joy

A Musical Trilogy

June 17, 2014 Sharon Jacobson

Back in March of this year, so not so long ago, I remember reflecting on an old Beatle song, Let It Be. Yesterday, I was reminded of the importance of those words one more time. I remembered that it is what it is, nothing more or nothing less. In this month, when we are focusing on forgiveness of self and others, I found myself having to practice what I teach. I learned that someone I trusted had failed to tell me they could no longer uphold their part of an agreement. I have to admit, my first reaction was “seriously, you are just now telling me this and you have known for months.” Then the emotional work on my side began as I realized that I was sitting in judgment of this person and the situation and the Beatle song began coming back to me, just let it be.

My conversation with this person had caused me to lose balance temporarily. That did not make either of us right or wrong, it was the Ultimate Creator’s way of helping me in my own journey and maintaining awareness of what the Ultimate Creator was doing for me in that moment. So I had to let it be!

The Lens of Love

June 4, 2012 Sharon Jacobson

Whenever I go to the ophthalmologist’s office, they check my eyes to see how my vision is doing. While they are able to see behind my eye and assess all kinds of information about my vision, they are unable to assess how I see people. see there is more to our vision then just whether or not it is 20/20 or if we need corrective lenses or contacts to enable us to see better. When it comes to seeing others or ourselves the only lens we need to wear is a lens of love. How we see others and ourselves is about us and where we are at in our journeys. If we cannot see ourselves through a lens of love, then how can we see others through that lens? The lens of love is unconditional. Some refer to this as agape love, a love that transcends the ability to be frustrated. It cannot be frustrated because there is no expectation attached to it. When we see others and ourselves through this lens of unconditional love, it means we have released our expectations for others and ourselves. When we see ourselves getting frustrated with someone because they have not fulfilled my expectations, it is a signal that our love for them conditional.

A & E

November 28, 2011 Sharon Jacobson

When I was in seminary, one of the things Dr Ricutti taught us in Intro to Preaching was to have a title that would catch people’s interest. My guess is when you saw the title you thought about the A & E television station (Arts and Entertainment). I wish I could say this is what I have been thinking about this week. In some respects, I have. However, the A and E I have been spending a good part of my time thinking about are two things we tend to do easily in our lives: assumptions and expectations. It is amazing how much drama, trauma, and suffering we can eliminate from our lives when we practice living an A & E free life. Today, I just want to focus on the E, and maybe next time I will focus on the A. I remember the first time I read the idea of living and loving with no expectations in Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Mastery of Love

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