Valuing my qualities

Don Miguel Ruiz wrote, “The most important agreements are the ones you make with yourself. In these agreements you tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe, and how to behave.” As I have been exploring this in my own life and working to become aware of my own agreements, I have been thinking about the qualities I was taught I should embody, those I think I embody, what others think I have and those I wish I had. Growing up, I was taught to be compassionate and caring. That came more from my mother then anyone else. She was a very loving and compassionate woman and they are qualities I continue to embody and embrace today. I think, or at least would like to believe that this is how others see me as well.
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Week 5, Day 2 – Changing Identification

Hmm, ©©©©© ok, it took me a minute to think about what I wanted to say. Not sure I remember anybody in my family ever talking about these things. Not to say they didn’t, but I don’t remember. What I remember most from my parents was this message about love and commitment. That being in a relationship meant that you worked things through, you talked things through. This was a lesson they learned from almost divorcing and then working themselves back together. They learned how to respect each other in a way they had not been able to do before. Of course, part of that had to do with my dad’s drinking and being an alcoholic. Once he sobered up and stopped drinking, they built a completely new relationship and taught me a great deal about unconditional love. It was during my mom’s illness that my dad taught me the most powerful lesson about love. He said that even though my mom did not remember who he was, he remembered who she was and he still loved her.
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Week 2, Day 6 – Change

Oh yes, I remember that day. It was October 15, 2006. I had just come back from Los Angeles, California. I was nervous walking into the church that day for a number of reasons. It was the second time we had worshipped in this new space and the bishop was coming for the first of three weekends to observe me. So I drove up to the church, grabbed my rolling bag, which still held all my robes and stoles and walked into the church. As I opened the door of my office, this pain shot down my right leg and it was followed by numbness and this state of shock. I remember that day as if it was yesterday. It was the day that my life changed with an opening of the door. It was just a door.
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