Dear God,
I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for blessing me with Thich Nhat Hanh’s book Fear: Essential Wisdom for Getting through the Storm. I am not sure what I was expecting when I began this book, but I am so grateful for all that is helping me to release and the wounds that are being healed along the way. One of the things he pointed out was that whether we are physically connected to or want to be connected to our ancestors, we are. We need to heal the wounds we have inherited as part of our legacy. One of the things he suggested doing was writing letters as a form of meditational practice to our ancestors and parents. As I thought about this, I realized I had written letters to my parents before and after they made transition. However, never in my life have I written a letter to my foster parents or to my birth parents. Even though I will never meet them, at least not in this realm, I am still connected to them and in their own ways; we will always be connected. So today, I am going to begin with the one that might be the hardest, the letter to my biological father. I am not even sure how you write a love letter to someone you never knew and are not even sure you ever met or ever say me. However, I am going to do my best
Read moreI was having a conversation with a friend recently about what I do when life gets difficult. I would like to be able to say that life is never difficult and there are never any obstacles placed in front of me, but I would be lying. At the same time, it struck me that I have never consciously thought about what I do and how do I move through. What do I do to keep myself grounded and focused when life happens, which it is bound to do?
What I am coming to understand and remember is that things are what they appear to be at that moment and it is my attitude, which determines how I move through and view the situation.
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There have been moments in my life when I wish I could wake up and be completely free from the Dream of the Planet. Moments when I did not have to work at being aware of what I was thinking and why and what I was working on hooking myself from in my life. The reality is that "The practice of awareness is a lifelong adventure.”
Everywhere I go in my life, I encounter the Dream of the Planet, and it challenges me to maintain my awareness. Maybe that is one of the reasons I enjoy working at home, it limits the challenges I have to face being out in the world each day. I do not have to work as hard to navigate all the illusions that I encounter in life or the conditions placed on me by others.
Read moreOnce again, I have learned how easy it is to be sucked into the power of the past and forget that none of us is the same person we were in the past. The other day, my son called crying and then hung up on me and immediately I became concerned for him, his caregivers, and the other young man in his life. Why? Because I remembered all the other times he had lost control when he was with me and how he was. I remembered the time he nearly hit me over the head with a 2 x 4. I remembered all the other times he had become angry and became physically aggressive with myself and others and I assumed that this was what was happening again.
The next day when I spoke to his caregiver, I learned that he had not been physical at all. He had been far more appropriate then I have ever known him to be.
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