Trust Me

When I was intentionally beginning my personal healing work, the writer my therapist was using and encouraging all clients to read was the work of John Bradshaw, author of Home Coming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner ChildThis book discusses how the process of healing your wounded inner child is one of grief, and it involves these six steps. The first of these six steps is trust.

The person we most need to trust in our lives is ourselves. In order for us to begin our own healing process (emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually); we must begin by trusting ourselves. For many people, our wounded inner child is in hiding. That wounded part does not trust others and to some extent does not even trust the older version of who we are. To keep themselves safe, they learned to hide until they could find someone who would be a supportive and non-shaming ally.

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Set Yourself Free

As human beings, we are all prone to struggle with things; most of our struggles are of our own making. We are prisoners to a whole host of things but the source of our struggles is closer than many of us would like to admit. For many of us our prison cells contain bars of fear, doubt, worry, and lack. We constantly worry about what somebody might say, might do, what might happen. We let our fears about the unknown, the uncertain rule our lives. We doubt whether we are good enough for someone or something, if we have what it takes to do what we feel called to do, doubt that we know what it is that the Infinite wants us to do, doubt whether or not the Creator loves us just as we are, doubt that there would be room for us at the inn. We worry about all kinds of things, we worry about our bodies, how we look in our clothes, if people are going to like us, if we going to be able to pay our bills this month, how we are going to get someplace, car issues, job issues, health issues, and relationship issues
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Recognizing and Releasing the Ghosts

This may not be about what you are thinking, but only you will know that as I have no idea what you are thinking. That is the very kind of ghost I am talking about. I can think I know what you are thinking, but what I think only exists in my mind. What you think I am thinking only exists in your mind. It is as if we are surrounded by beings, which exist as we create them to exist. They play a role and function in our minds. How I think about them, and how I relate to them, is about me. How they exist or do not exist in your mind is about you. Don Miguel Ruiz talked about these beings as ghosts that exist in our mind; it is as if there is a ghost town, which lives in our minds.
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Courage Up, Not Cover Up

Perhaps one of the most important qualities in spiritual growth is courage. Courage is what enables us to move through our fears rather then cover them up. Michael Kimmel, a sociologist and leader in Men’s Studies, illustrated one way even our youth have learned to cover up their fears. He said the easiest way to start a fight is to walk on to a playground and ask which one of the kids playing is gay. The fear of anyone thinking you are gay is enough to provoke an all out effort to prove their masculinity, and to demasculate others. There are aspects of our personality, which we are supposed to cover up. We are not supposed to show weakness, especially men. “Are you a baby?”
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Where Joy Resides

During our love and inspiration gathering on Sunday, April 1st one of the women in our gathering suggested that on the 8th (Easter Sunday for those who celebrate Easter) we have a dinner instead of our morning gathering. With the group’s enthusiastic approval, as well as my wife’s endorsement pending my willingness to make my baked ham and seven cheese mac and cheese, we agreed to do so. Shortly after some of our guests arrived and the abundance of food was on the table, one of our guests received a call from a family member in crisis and she needed to call 911. Our guests responded in different ways. One woman asked me for assistance with 911. Another began crying because it stimulated some of her past behavior. A third one felt helpless because she was not sure how to help her niece.
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Where do you live?

This past week, I have had a chance to talk with a wide diversity of people with differing attitudes about life. Some of them seem to be living in a garden where life is blooming and others seem to be living in a minefield where they are waiting for the next bomb in life to go off. So where are you living? Are you living in a garden, a minefield, or a prison? Minefields are loaded with bombs hidden under the terrain. When one steps on a mine, you can be blown up by bombs of worry, doubt, fear, lack, and limitation.
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Commercials, Wolves, and The Four Agreements.

A week or so ago, I got an email from someone who asked me if I really practiced what I teach. Yes! So I thought I would share one of those moments with you. If you have been around me for any length of time, you know there are a few things I ask or say. One phrase is make it a commercial, not a documentary. Another is which wolf are you feeding? Does this fit with the four agreements? For those of you who are wondering what I am talking about, here is my cheat sheet. The Four Agreements is a book by Don Miguel Ruiz and the agreements in a nutshell are this: 1. be impeccable with your words – do not say anything negative about yourself or others 2. Don't take anything personally. – It’s only about you if you make it about you. 3. Don't make assumptions. – seek clarification and make sure you both understand each other. 4. Always do your best. YOUR best, not what I think is your best, but your best at any moment, knowing your best can change from moment to moment.
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Leaping Into Love

For the last few weeks, I have been reading Pema Chodron’s book Taking the Leap. It is about releasing old habits and fears. There is a section in her book when she talks about unconditional friendliness with ourselves. it is about changing the way we think about things. rather then seeing things as a burden, we need to see them as a gift. Rather then punishing ourselves for something that has happened in our lives, we can begin to focus on the lessons learned. Are we looking at the negative aspect of a situation or the positive. it is amazing how we keep ourselves living in a state of suffering and drama rather then choosing a mindset that allows us to live in a state of evolution and grace. Her reflection on developing a deeper relationship with one’s self reminded me of an epiphany I had once while reading Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements.
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Gifts through fear.

During Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s first inaugural address, we made a statement that many people still remember today. He said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” It would be nice if I could say that one could go through one’s life without ever experiencing fear. However, that would not be realistic. What is important to remember is that we can use fear as a way of evolving.
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