My Infusions

May 4, 2024 Sharon Jacobson

My Infusions

Last week I began weekly visits
back to the hematology center
to get another round of iron infusions
to help me battle another severe case of anemia.
My friends have all heard how horrific my first experience was,
but this center is infusing me with more then iron.
Honestly, it is not just me
it is everyone I have met there,
they infuse their patients
with love.
They remind me of how we are to treat others.
They treat each patient like a flower,
They care for each one of us,
helping us heal, grow,
and feel pampered.
I have seen how they take the time
to understand us,
to know what we need,
what makes us comfortable,
what makes us feel safe.
What if we treated each others like flowers
infusing each other with love and attention?
What if we made sure those we loved were watered,
nourished,
fertilized,
and getting everything they need.
My hemotology center is more than a place of healing,
it is a flower bed
and all work to keep
every life blooming.

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If I Laugh

January 19, 2024 Sharon Jacobson

If I Laugh

I woke up thinking about you
and how much I miss you
and even though you’ve been gone decades now
I still miss you with all my heart.
I have come to realize that
if I laugh,
even if it just a little bit,
it relieves the pain
that I feel when I want to talk to you.
If I laugh,
I can remember
the joyous memories I have of you
instead of the hole left
when you returned to the eternal home.
If I laugh,
just a little bit,
I can forgive myself
for the plans that didn’t work
that would have given me one more memory of you.
If I laugh,
just a little bit,
I can remember
how you taught me to laugh,
to be kind,
to have patience
and to the parts of you
which live within me.
If I laugh,
just a little bit,
I can find that place of peace
I have in my memories of you.
Sometimes when I laugh,
it is because it helps me through the grief
and leads me back to the joy.
so give me my space to heal
if you see me laugh,
even just a little bit.

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Being Chicken Soup

September 17, 2022 Sharon Jacobson

Being Chicken Soup

Having grown up in a Jewish household,
there were lessons I learned from my mother,
who was one of several women who taught me
powerful traditions.
My mother taught me that my presence,
my simply being present for another
could lift someone’s spirit and
help them to heal.
As my Buby once said,
being present for others can be as healing
as a bowl of homemade chicken soup.
We can be the chicken soup
which heals someone and
lifts their spirit,
simply by being present.
It may be nothing more than
a smile,
a friendly hello,
asking how they are,
or spending time.
We have the power to bring
the healing power of chicken soup
into their lives.

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Mercy

February 18, 2022 Sharon Jacobson

Mercy

As I look back,
I find myself giving thanks
for the people in my life
who have been like
heat sinking missiles
landing on and exploding
my most sensitive of areas.
Their presence has saved
me time and money in therapy,
as they have drawn my attention
to the areas
in need of the most healing.
I show them mercy
as I know others have shown me
when I have been
the heat sinking missile
in their life.
it is not that I want
these experiences in my life,
but that I need them.
They are the impetus for my growth,
my humility,
my reminder to be merciful
and to receive the mercy of others.

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Hard healing

May 29, 2021 Sharon Jacobson

Hard Healing

I love it when
the chances to grow and evolve
are easy.
It’s when they are hard
and they crack me open,
making me look at the wounds
and let the tears flow
so the healing can begin.
It’s when I find the hard spots
in my heart
and have to massage them
back into softness,
slowly letting and releasing
the scabs which had formed
over time and
a lifetime of injuries.
Healing is not always
bought about by the easy
things in life,
sometimes it is
the hard healing
which is the most powerful.

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My Places

October 30, 2020 Sharon Jacobson

My Places

There are days
and moments
that I wake up in fear
or in pain,
not physical,
but emotional, mental, or spiritual
and I just want to
curl up and cry
and scream stop.
Then I change my focus and
journey to my places
where I find peace -
my rocking chair,
the shower,
my prayer and meditation garden.
Each has something about it
which allows me to connect with
the peace which transcends understanding.
I find myself alone with Spirit,
experiencing healing grace,
love,
insight, and
understanding.
There is something about these places
which grounds me,
cleanses me
and brings me peace.
We all need those places,
where are yours?

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Healing

October 9, 2020 Sharon Jacobson

I can’t speak for anybody but myself,
but I hate those days where I just feel off.
Those days where I feel distracted,
where I feel off balance.
Those days where I am hungry,
but don’t know what I want to eat.
I am tired,
but I can’t seem to sleep.
I have tons to do,
but do not have the desire
or the focus to do anything.

My brain won’t shut off and
I just want to scream.
It is in the midst of that storm,
that the wise voice in me
tells me to just stop.
Eat, drink, make sure
I have taken my meds,
lay down,
stop the clutter in my head,
turn everything off,
and focus on the silence.
It is in the midst of the storm,
when I drag myself
to the silence,
that I find my peace
and clarity
and the wisdom
to repair what was broken
and remind me
what I need to do
to stay balanced, focused, and centered
and get back to that space
if sending and receiving
the most positive of energy
to myself and others.

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Beauty

November 30, 2019 Sharon Jacobson

Beauty, they say
is in the eye of the beholder
But it is so much more.
Beauty is like a food.
It fills one’s spirit.
It helps us see things,
feel things,
understand things,
see things,
and experience things
in a way that
surpasses understanding.

Beauty
is healing.
nurturing,
transformative,
and evidence of the
Divine.

Beauty is
about you and me
and the way we see
ourselves and each other.
When we look for it,
we will see it all around us.
The more we look for it
the more it will surround us.

Beauty
will keep you warm on cold winter days
cool in the summers,
birthing newness in the spring,
and being colorful and transforming
in the fall.
Beauty is
what you as an artist
create in yourself
with every stroke of your brush.

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The Mirror

November 15, 2019 Sharon Jacobson

I look in the mirror
and sometimes I love
what I see and
there are other times
I don’t
However, there has never been
a time when I hated
what I saw so much
that I could slash my wrist
or poison myself
or want to leave this world behind.

When I look in the mirror
what I see is a reflection
of the Divine,
the one who created me,
the one who designed me
the one who tells me
you are beautiful just as you are.

When I look in the mirror
what I see is a reflection
of the Divine
of the one who is love,
is about healing
is about grace
is about wisdom and
is about listening.

When I look in the mirror
I pray for those who
do not see what I see
or feel what I feel.
I pray for those who see
something so painful
that leaving feels better
than staying

When I look in the mirror,
I remember to pray
for those
I know,
those I do not,
those who are whole and
those who are hurting,
those who have asked
for prayer
and those who have not
because we are all
a reflection
of the Divine

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Music

September 28, 2019 Sharon Jacobson

Music is about healing.
it is the medicine which
can bless me,
cleanse me,
heal me,
calm me,
soothe me,
energize me,
and minister to
my soul

Music comes and ministers
to my senses.
it is not always the whole piece.
Sometimes is it a single note.
a few notes
a word
a chorus
or the way it is played.

Music can create something
sacred within me.
It can be an offering
to the eternal.
It can be a reminder of
how the universe is greater
then any single moment in time.

Music is;
it it not always describable;
it just is.

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Held in Your Arms

June 7, 2019 Sharon Jacobson

There are days
when I just need
to be held.
When I want to be
a little gurl held
in my mother’s arms

Then I close my eyes,
wrap my arms around myself
and rock myself
until I feel myself being
held in your arms.

It brings me back in time
to those moments when
I was wrapped in the
arms of love and knew
all was going to be okay.

Now when I need to be held
I wrap my arms around myself
and rock myself like my mother did
until I am held by you
and rocked in your Divine love.

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Hospitality

May 26, 2019 Sharon Jacobson

I was reminded of a video
about a young boy and an older man
who created a space
to let each other in.

That is what hospitality is about.
its about taking people
into our worlds.
Its about letting them into
our hearts, mind, souls
and saying you are welcome.

Its about breaking down barriers,
tearing down walls,
overcoming obstacles.
its about building bridges which connect us,
not walls which separate us.
its about connecting people
and hearts
one at a time.

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Mending

April 27, 2019 Sharon Jacobson

I have to begin by owning my mistakes.
I cannot mend,
what I cannot own.
I cannot fix,
what I do not admit I damaged.

Mending the world
begins with me.
If I am living at peace in my soul
then my home is
When my relationship is joyous,
we share that with the world
When we share our joy
we make our community better,
which makes our region better,
which makes our state better
which makes our country better
which makes the world better.

My being mindful about mending
that which I need to mend
is about me making this world a better place.
it is about me helping to mend
the world.

What if each day we fixed our mistakes
before we went to bed.
What if we fixed things
as they happened,
instead of letting them build.
What if we focused on
mending
our lives,
and the world

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Entering the Miracle

August 27, 2016 Sharon Jacobson

So here we are at the end of August and it is amazing to me how much I have thought about meaning lately. It is interesting how I have been thinking about why I have been led to sources of wisdom and revelation at certain times. For example, I was looking for a book a few months ago and was drawn to a book by Mark Nepo, which I thought would be awesome for our book club, called Inside the Miracle. It is a gathering of his writings which draw on his experience and transformation because of his battle with cancer. Most of the people in our book club have had cancer and so I thought this was a book that would really speak to them.

Little did I know that I was drawn to this book for another reason. One of my dearest friends was diagnosed with brain cancer. Reading this book while journeying with her helped me to enter into the miracle that was to happen in her life. It gave me new understandings of my own health challenges and the journey to wholeness which was coming as a result of this opportunity.

It’s More Than Just a Box

November 20, 2015 Sharon Jacobson

Today I want to give thanks for the box from my brother and his wife. I have been sitting there staring at this box for about a week now, wanting to open it, but really just wanting to sit and be with my feelings about receiving this box. See the reality is that I really do not care what is in the box; it is just that I have the box. It is that he stopped and sent me a gift. It is that he took the time to think about me and let me know I was in his thoughts. I honestly could not care about what is inside the box, I am just enjoying sitting here looking at the box.

Here I am 59 years old and my brother is 57 ½ and he and I are exchanging gifts for the first time ever. I don’t ever remember getting a gift from him as a child and I know I never got one as an adult

No more stones

November 7, 2014 Sharon Jacobson

So today is November 7th. It is hard for me to believe that in some respects I turned 7 days old today. It is hard to believe that on November 1, I almost died because both my kidneys became obstructed at the same time and I could not pee. When I think back to last Saturday, it seems so surreal. I still remember the emergency room doctor coming in and telling me I was in acute renal failure and my creatinine levels were 10.77, far above what those who need to be on dialysis have. I remember thinking how did this happen? How did I go from having no kidney problems, to being in acute failure over night? The reality is that I will never know what caused both my kidneys to become obstructed at once, preventing me from being able to pee. What I do know is this. You ensured that all my needs were met. You sent me to the emergency room when I needed to and surrounded me with people who were able to save my life and restore my ability to pee. Two days later, my creatinine level was back down to normal and in some respects it was easy for me to think this was all a dream, but I know it was not.

Working on Healing

December 21, 2013 Sharon Jacobson

When I did not, there were times that I found myself falling into the trap of being a time traveler. I would be sucked into the past and the distorted version that I had created out of my wounds. Other times, I would be sucked into the future and begin creating a distorted version of what might happen. In either case, I was not living in the present and thus not even experiencing the present moment because I was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in another time zone.

I wanted to thank you for teaching me how to take it to the next level. So now, when I find myself reacting emotionally, I just stop and say this is what I am feeling and this is my truth. I am reacting to my truth and opening the door to my healing. I then do the healing work and then do something to celebrate the work I have done. We all have to be paid for our hard work J

A Spinal Journey

October 5, 2013 Sharon Jacobson

This last week I was reminded why it is so important to have someone to ask you questions, which hold a mirror up to your life in a new way. It wasn’t even that it was a question; it was more of an assignment. It wasn’t even the assignment; it was me and what I saw and came to understand about my life. I came to realize that my spinal problems all began during the time in my life when my support system began to disappear and the less supported I felt, the more problems I began to experience with my back and knees.

Released from Fear

April 21, 2013 Sharon Jacobson

The other day I was going through some of my old poetry and found a poem I had written years ago, actually more like decades ago. I called it Afraid. I am not sure why it spoke to me. Perhaps it is because a friend asked me the other day what I am afraid of. So that question amongst others is what I have been meditating about this week. Sometimes I wish my brain would not be so deep and reflective, but that is how I am choosing to be at this time in my journey.

I am a Spiritual Warrior

September 23, 2012 Sharon Jacobson

This afternoon, my body is speaking loudly to me and asking me what were you thinking yesterday. Do you know how sore we are today? Heck, it hurts just to lift this one leg up and you did this to us why? Then there is the other part of my body, which seems to be saying thank you, yes it was painful and uncomfortable, but you made it through. So now, you know you can walk through the discomfort of moving up and down the hallway. Now you know that you can train your body to walk up and down the driveway, then to the mailbox, and by January, you will be able to use your walker on the days you have to go to Brockport to teach.

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